Parents of imbibing minors meet First Lady for candid discussion on child welfare

. . . Promise to make amends, look after children

IT was a soul-searching meeting with the hallmarks of warmth when First Lady Dr Auxillia Mnangagwa sat down for a first-of-its-kind motherly talk with parents and children who hogged the limelight for the wrong reasons when they were caught on video while taking alcohol at Juru Growth Point and in Mbare, Harare, during the festive season.

Sitting on reed mats, Dr Mnangagwa and her counselling team drawn from all the country’s provinces, sought to understand what really transpired and map a positive way forward.

She met the children and their parents separately and afforded both parties a chance to express themselves freely as part of her solutions-based approach to issues.

It emerged that most of the affected children’s parents were commercial sex workers, single mothers and beer drinkers who openly admitted to not having time with their children.

They, however, undertook to change their ways. Some of them openly said even when their children returned from town in the evening, they did not notice anything amiss or smell alcohol on them since they (parents) were also heavily under the influence of alcohol.

On the other hand, the way the children initially responded to questions and carried themselves before elders showed lack of respect, but at the end of the day, they had improved significantly after a session with the First Lady and her team.

To remove tension and ensure the children could narrate what happened, the First Lady played games with them and started asking them questions later.

The children from Mbare said when they bought the beers from an illegal seller, they freely walked from Mbare to town holding the bottles and people would ignore them.

The minors who were filmed on New Year’s Eve drinking beer at Juru Growth Point told the First Lady that a certain man encouraged them to continue drinking and urging the young girls to dance as he recorded for reasons best known to him.

This irked the mother of the nation, who then emphasised that it was everyone’s responsibility to look after children.

She said when they walked all the way to town exposing the beer bottles, adults along the way should have taken action.

Also as seen on the video, many people passed by the children, going about their businesses when the minors from Mbare were drinking beer.

No one tried to take it away from them.

An empowerment champion, Dr Mnangagwa asked the women the kind of projects they intended to venture into so that she could assist them, and the group from Mbare pointed at hardware and retail, while those from Murewa chose detergent-making and poultry.

Amai Mnangagwa engaged the Zimbabwe Women’s Microfinance Bank for loans and the Ministry of Women Affairs, Community, Small and Medium Enterprises Affairs to implement and oversee the projects while working with her office.

She urged the women to work in groups and have financial discipline, saying she wanted the projects to flourish.

“Today we have come to meet as mothers to discuss freely. It is not my issue alone, but it involves every one of us, hence the need to share ideas. No one is being blamed here but we are fixing a challenge in line with our cultural norms and values. Traditional chiefs are here and so are our religious leaders and social commentators, including those from the four corners of the country,” the First Lady said.

“I stand before you as a mother, grandmother, aunt, so the name First Lady is just a title but we are the same. We want the Lord to bless our meeting as women where we teach one another and we want these kinds of meetings to be regular. A child belongs to all of us and is yours only when still in your tummy.

“As women, are we open to have our child counselled by others? As a mother you have to listen to others because you are the last person to know what your child will be doing, so it is important to listen to others. We have built a sound relationship as mothers from today. So, today we have come with cases that occurred on December 25 on December 31, 2023, and we said as mothers we cannot fold our hands as our children get ruined. We call upon God to intervene. As mothers, we are all free to discuss and learn from one another because these are our children collectively. The children might have escaped our watchful eyes, but we want to get hold of them and correct them. We saw children falling in a drunken stupor with big bottles. No one is being arrested; you have come to your mother,” the mother of the nation said, before giving the floor to the mothers to tell their stories.

The Mbare mother of a nine-year-old and a four-year-old child who were seen drinking poured her heart out.

“On Christmas Day, my children bathed and dressed up as I was going about my domestic chores. They said they intended to visit their friends and I gave them US$1 each, not knowing they had a trick up their sleeves. They returned around 6pm, but they acted normal not showing any signs of mischief. The one who was captured falling with a bottle is my child and I heard from people after the video circulated because when they returned home, I did not notice anything amiss. I am thankful Amai for the time you gave us to discuss with you freely. We gave children money thinking we had done the best for Christmas, yet they were ahead of us,” she said.

A grandmother to one of the children gave her insights into what happened.

“My grandson was given money by his father on Christmas Day and went out to meet his friends where they bought beer from Block 4 and went to town drinking. My grandson said they had planned this before Christmas,” she said dejectedly.

Another parent rued her decision to give her son US$2 on the fateful day.

“On Christmas Day, my child bathed and left to play with his friends. In no time, he came back saying his friends had been given money. I first hesitated, but later gave him US$2 before I left for the market. He used that money to buy beer. I was pained because in our home no one takes alcohol as we are worshippers,” she said.

Another woman weighed in, saying: “I came with my child and that of my sister. My sister’s child had just been released from hospital before the fateful day. On Christmas Day I gave them US$3. My sister and her husband are divorced, so his father had also given him US$5. These children decided to buy booze. We are thankful Amai for the love that you have shown us; you are not selective and muri Amai vanoumba. People thought you had called us here so that you get us arrested, but no, you invited us in good faith,” she said.

A single parent from Juru said people in her community were blaming her for the child’s behaviour.

“My young daughter was caught on video at Juru Growth Point on New Year’s Eve drinking beer. I was pained because the whole community is blaming me as a single mother. They say she is taking after her mother. I am being derided in our community. Thank you, Amai, for comforting me today. The video helped us see what happened; maybe we would have never known,” she said.

A parent from Mbare shared her fears with the mother of the nation.

“In our neighbourhood of Mbare, people do not think we will return home. They were saying you are in for it now that you have been called over by the First Lady. You are going to be jailed. We are thankful for the warm welcome you accorded us. What we came expecting is not what we saw here because we came full of fear, but you showed us great love. What is influencing these children to do bad things is that in Mbare people sell all sorts of illegal things like mbanje and mutoriro in the full view of our children,” she said.

One of the affected parents confirmed to being a beer drinker.

“Amai, I am a guzzler, but I expect better things for my children, and I do not want them to consume alcohol as I do. I was hurt by what my child did, and everyone is saying the child took after his mother. I am thankful for the love that you have shown,” she said.

A commercial sex worker said her two children were among the children who were caught on video while taking alcohol at Juru Growth Point.

“I have five children and among those caught drinking beer were two of my daughters. To be frank, I am a sex worker even though I do not expect such from my children. I was pained. I do sex work not because I enjoy it but I want to raise my children. That day I realised just how bad my job is because my children are following suit,” she said with pain written all over her face.

An 18-year-old girl from Juru gave her account of what transpired.

“I was at Juru Growth Point with a six-pack of beer when my younger brother aged seven snatched it from me and disappeared into the crowd. I later saw a video of them drinking the beer with his peers,” she said.

Social commentator Dr Rebecca Chisamba said finding a solution to challenges bedevilling society should be everyone’s concern.

“Like what the First Lady said, we all carry responsibility for the protection of children. Therefore, we have to accept reality and find solution. Parenthood involves knowing and understanding children’s behaviour. Would a child spend time drinking beer and you take no notice? If a child is sick, as a mother you are the first one to know before being told so. We are not scolding one another but we are seeking solutions. Beer is smelly so all of you cannot say you saw nothing. Let us be open and tell the truth so that our children can be helped,” she said.

Chaplain Christine Phiri from the Zimbabwe Prisons and Correctional Service gave a touching presentation on the plight of single mothers.

“Mhamha, the way I see it is that most women who spoke here are single mothers who do not stay with children and their fathers. I am also a single mother and I see that our children take advantage of the absence of another parent to be naughty. I always testify that I used to enter beerhalls before being born again. The truth is that we would spend more time in bars drinking at the expense of having time with the children. Let us walk straight so that we are able to tell our children to follow suit. I liked the women who openly confessed to being a sex worker because I came from that route, but God loves us and gives us a second chances. Do not be ashamed so that you can be helped,” she said.

Amai Mnangagwa also encouraged the women to be truthful in their testimonies and to be free to air their views.

A single parent expressed delight at the teachings she received.

“I was touched by your speech Amai that we must say the truth and I was also touched by Chaplin Phiri’s words because most of us are single mothers. I am also a single mother who gave birth to my child at 16 years of age. My child is 10 years old, but he is now drinking beer. Our children are disrespectful maybe because there is no father to silence them in the home,” she said.

One of the parents owned up and said on the day she too was too drunk to monitor what was taking place.

“Truly when the children came back drunk, I never saw that because I was also very drunk. These children must be copying this from us,” she said.

Evangelist Nelly Gwatidzo said it was critical to keep an eye on children at all times.

“To say the truth, we turned a blind eye on our children. Some said when they saw the videos they never asked the children as to why they misbehaved. Our children are suspects always, hence they need constant monitoring. Let’s have a bond with our children; let’s sit down with them and talk to them,” she said.

The First Lady enjoined the women to speak freely so their concerns can be heard.

“When I first spoke to you madzimai, I said you have come to your mother so feel free to say the truth. Do not beat about the bush but say things as they are so that we come up with a resolution. Beer is smelly. So you failed to smell it when they returned and only saw a video? If a four-year-old child spends time away from home, are you not worried and at least look for him? We hear in some countries they are smoking bones of dead people and can we watch idly as that happens? Are we having time with the children? Doing sex work spawns death. Some of the things we are doing at home prompt our children to be naughty. Your child should be where you are and from today have time with your children. If we fail to handle our children, we will be doing them a disservice. I want you to leave the world’s oldest profession, prostitution, and move forward. All of you did not want to say the truth except a few. I want you to leave this place as new creations. I am not mocking you, but I want to empower you,” she said.

Pastor Eve Nemasango-Kawadza said mothers had no excuse for not looking after their children properly.

“I have been a single parent for 18 years, raising my two children. There is no excuse for not raising children on the correct path. Your background or social setting does not define you. Being a single parent does not mean that you do not counsel children,” she said.

Sister Kanyere from Roman Catholic echoed similar sentiments.

“I worked from Mbare and learnt that there are certain associations of sex workers led by chairpersons who allocate men for them. These women are not saying the truth. These leaders collect the money yet the worker gets a small fee. They spend more time in sex work at the expense of their children who are lacking parental guidance,” she said.

Chief Chikwaka concurred with the First Lady, saying she had lots of work to do.

“You have lots of work on your shoulders Amai. You are keen to transform the lives of the people and have initiated many projects for women and today you are willing to help these women, thank you Amai for your love. In Seke, ladies of the night hung their boots after you gave them projects, including farming. I am saying this so that women appreciate that sex work can be dumped. Amai, you launched many projects in my area of jurisdiction. To support your vision Amai, I want to give these women here farming land and inputs so that they can do projects. There is a woman who said she has nothing to give children hence her stay in bars. I am giving her bags of maize and buckets of tomatoes to start a business and leave prostitution. Amai, as chiefs we are grateful and we support you all the way.”

The wife to Chief Seke, Mrs Naume Chimanikire, threw in her words of advice.

“I thought you women would start by apologising to Amai for what happened, but you all chose to play victim. I encourage women to be role models of their children and to take Amai’s wise counsel seriously,” she said.

Apostle Lillian Bwanya said she was born and bred in Mbare.

“I am also a product of Mbare, therefore, your place of birth cannot decide your life. I did not allow an area to define me. To support Amai, I am also going to help some of the women so that they earn income to sustain their children. I am also a single mother, but I raised my children on the correct path. I never brought a boyfriend home because I wanted my children to grow up well. Seek Jesus and leave bad influences. God loves you, our mother loves you,” she said.

This came as the children were being counselled one by one.

One of the girls from Murehwa, who is in Grade 4, said on the fateful day, she was in the company of her Grade 3 sister and their friends. They were given the cider by their friend who had snatched a six-pack from her sister.

She added that they were made to drink the alcohol by a certain man who asked them to dance as he took videos.

Asked whether they would drink if offered beer again, the two sisters said they would not while shedding tears and said all they did was out of being influenced by others.

The First Lady urged the children to dump the destructive tendencies of taking alcohol and drugs.

“My grandchildren from today quit this ruinous behaviour of taking alcohol and drugs. I want you to grow well, valuing your education and I will always come and visit you at school and have counselling sessions with you,” she said.

The children from Mbare said no adult coaxed them to drink, but it was something they planned as a group.

They said their ringleader is seven-years-old.

“The person who sold us beer never inquired about our ages. He just served us and we walked from Mbare into town. We also did not hide the bottles,” they said.

The First Lady and her team counselled them and they promised never to do it again.

After meeting the parties separately, the mother of the nation later held a combined session with the parents and the children where the former apologised and promised to be more vigilant in monitoring children as well as having time with them.

Among the women was a 19-year-old girl who was heavily pregnant whose brother was among those who were caught drinking beer on Christmas Day.

The girl lives with her three siblings.

The boy who impregnated her fled to South Africa.

She told the First Lady that she was due anytime but had nowhere to start from.

Touched by this, the First Lady gave her a complete baby preparation kit, which included a bathing dish, clothes, diapers, baby soap, petroleum jelly and the mother’s care pack among other things.

Another pregnant woman was also given baby preparation set.

All the women received food and toiletry hampers courtesy of the First Lady.