Arsenal thump West Ham in chaotic Premier League showcase

LONDON — At 4-0 down after just 36 minutes, there was a danger that Julen Lopetegui was going to be the only person connected to West Ham left in the stands.

The Hammers boss, serving a one-match touchline ban after picking up three yellow cards this season, watched on from a high vantage point as fans streamed out of London Stadium all around him before half-time, shaking their heads in disbelief at the havoc Arsenal wreaked below. And yet, four minutes later, out of nowhere, West Ham had scored twice. Hope was revived. Just when the Hammers were getting themselves in a position from which to mount a second-half comeback, goalkeeper Lukasz Fabianski punched Gabriel Magalhães to concede a penalty that Bukayo Saka converted to send the Gunners in 5-2 up at the break.

It was, quite simply, absolute madness — a glorious advert for the brilliantly chaotic, implausibly unpredictable Premier League product, which ranks as one of the United Kingdom’s most successful global exports in any field. In the end, the seven first-half goals tied a league record with three other games, the last of which came between Reading and Manchester United in December 2012.

Judging by the relative lack of empty seats — most of those beleaguered West Ham fans returned anyway — it was amusing that just when it seemed like more of the same would follow after the break, the second was goalless and uncompetitive. It felt like the proverbial early night in bed after the happy-hour hedonism. So, with about 15 minutes left, they started to leave again. It is, as ever, the hope that kills you as a sports fan and West Ham’s had long been extinguished.

Meaningful conclusions from games like this are ill-advised, but it should nevertheless be noted that after Arsenal needed a set-piece to break the deadlock, some of their football was a combination of divine and deadly.

Gabriel Magalhães’ 10th-minute header was the final act of a set-piece routine that will earn Arsenal fresh praise even given their well-documented strength in those situations. Running from far post to near, the Gunners were a blur of movement, in which perhaps the most cunning act was Jurriën Timber’s gentle nudge on Lucas Paquetá to ensure Saka’s delivery found Gabriel unmarked. If dark arts helped break the deadlock, Arsenal then well and truly stepped into the light.