Braindead Robbers Mistake Snake Truck for Cash Van, End Up in ICU After VIP Treatment from Angry Pythons

 

South African Correspondent – Ngcobo

South Africa – A gang of five would-be robbers is fighting for their lives in hospital after a botched heist saw them attack a truck they believed was carrying cash—only to find it was transporting deadly snakes instead.

*A Heist Gone Horribly Wrong*

Eyewitnesses reported that the men, armed with pangas and a handgun, ambushed the vehicle along the R61 outside Ngcobo. They forced the driver out at gunpoint, tied him up with cable ties, and began breaking open crates—expecting to find money or valuables.

Instead, they unleashed a nightmare: 87 live snakes, including three black mambas, a dozen puff adders, and an aggressive python named “Rihanna” by her handlers—reportedly for her tendency to “shine bright like a diamond” when striking back.

*”They Were Screaming Like Children” – Witness*

Local resident Thando Mbeki, who saw the chaos unfold, said:

“One minute they were shouting, ‘We’re rich!’ The next, they were screaming like children. The snakes were everywhere—on them, around them, biting them. It was like a bad movie.”

The driver, who managed to free himself, called emergency services. By the time paramedics arrived, the robbers were unconscious, their bodies covered in venomous bites.

*Snake Handler: “This Was Their Karma”*

The truck belonged to a wildlife relocation company transporting the reptiles to a new sanctuary. A company representative, who asked not to be named, said:

“We’ve had theft attempts before, but this was next-level stupid. Maybe this was their karma.”

Police confirmed the men are in critical condition, with two reportedly on ventilators. Authorities have not ruled out charging them—if they survive.

Public Reaction:

“Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes”

Social media has erupted with reactions, with many users mocking the would-be thieves. One comment read:

“They thought they were getting cash, but the snakes gave them the ultimate *‘no cash, just backlash’ treatment.”