Cde Chinx’s widow bares soul . . . Moves out of matrimonial home empty-handed . . . Sex predators after her

LOSING a spouse is traumatic.

For many, the grief can be overwhelming, leading to emotional breakdowns and depression.

The journey to healing is often long and difficult, with painful reminders resurfacing during birthdays or death anniversaries.

Compounding these struggles are issues such as property disputes, greed and denial, which can exacerbate the plight of the bereaved.

However, some widows defy these challenges, finding strength in their resilience.

Ntombizodwa Mangota, widow of liberation war hero Cde Dickson Chingaira, better known as Cde Chinx, is one such woman.

Once a well-known dancer and backing vocalist for Cde Chinx’s Barrel of Peace band, Mangota has not only accepted her fate but has moved forward with remarkable strength.

At 51, she believes she cannot live to please others, and prioritises her mental health and ability to work hard for the future.

She is determined to avoid the pitfalls of inheritance disputes, choosing instead to rely on her own energy and ambition.

A heavy loss

When Cde Chinx passed away on June 16, 2017, it marked a new and difficult period for Mangota.

Cde Chinx with his wife Ntombizodwa Mangota

“It was a heavy loss for us. We had just acquired a new house in Sentosa, where I had settled well with my sweetheart and amaiguru (Patricia Simon Makoni). We were a well-known couple wherever we went together,” she recounted.

“Our polygamous marriage was famous, and I do not regret a single moment with my late husband, who married me when I was very young. We were the perfect definition of what people now call lovebirds because we truly loved each other.”

After Cde Chinx’s death, Mangota decided to leave the new Sentosa house in Harare.

“I realised that as a young widow, I had a life to live and children to care for, so I decided to move on,” she said.

She walked out empty-handed and relocated to a new apartment in Norton, never fighting for a share of her late husband’s estate.

“I do not regret it because I felt unwanted and there was no way I could stay when I realised there was nothing I could provide for my young children.”

This decision, however, has not been without its challenges.

“At one point, my children asked me if Cde Chinx was genuinely their father since they inherited nothing,” she recalled.

“I keep giving them strength and they are growing. One of them is now 27 and the other is 19. I had my own child before I married Cde Chinx and that child is now 33.”

Mangota, a retired member of the Zimbabwe Republic Police, has chosen to focus on her own ventures.

She is a beneficiary of the Land Reform Programme and has a plot in Marondera where she farms.

“For your information, I took a huge gamble when I retired and decided to work hard for my children. The only challenge I have now is of inputs although I still do farming.

“However, I am a proud widow who, despite working hard during my marriage and leaving empty-handed, has defied the odds.”

She credits her strength to her close relationship with Cde Chinx’s first wife, who passed away last year.

At one point, they stayed together for nearly six months in Norton.

Cde Chinx with his wife Ntombizodwa Mangota

“I will always miss her because we consulted each other on everything. We were an exemplary polygamous family, although things turned sour after my husband’s death.

“I have struggled to make ends meet since then, but I am glad I have opened up about what I went through. I believe I can help other widows in similar situations,” added Mangota.

Collaborating for empowerment

She encourages other widows to work hard and collaborate on various projects.

She is a member of the newly formed Creative Widows Association of Zimbabwe (CREWAZ), a group dedicated to economic empowerment for widows of former artistes.

The group is the brainchild of marabi singer Kireni Zulu and is supported by Dr Johannes Marisa.

“There are about 25 of us and we always exchange notes, which has made our sad stories seem more hopeful,” she explained.

“As widows of legends, we have found a way to rejoice in our tears through this initiative. I am grateful to those who came up with this concept; it is a life-changing initiative that is focused on economic empowerment.”

Navigating a new reality

Mangota remains a vibrant, self-sufficient woman who is not interested in dating.

She warns other widows about “perverts” and “sexual predators” who make false promises.

“We often encounter these lunatics who will do anything for intimacy, but I do not entertain this nonsense. Some men go out of their way just to be intimate with a woman, making false promises,” she said.

“This is one area where we have been working hard to ensure that we are not caught off guard and fall prey to these predators. My advice to fellow widows is to value themselves and their bodies because they can be abused. If they want to settle down, that is their choice, but for me, at 51, it is a no. I have better things to do than get involved in relationships that usually end in tears. I value my body and I have a family to protect.”

Lasting legacy

Reflecting on her life with Cde Chinx, whom she described as a “godfather”, she recalled meeting him in 1994 when she was in the Police Band.

He proposed to her and paid her lobola/roora before inviting her to join his band.

“He accepted me as a girl from Mufakose and exposed my talent to the world,” she said.

Looking to the future, she dreams of reviving the Barrel of Peace band with the surviving members.

“We have been making music because many of my husband’s band members are still around,” she said, naming Onisimo Wekwete, Wellington Mareva, Costa Songo, Fungai and Gwidi.

While she acknowledges the challenges she faces, Mangota wants to be an exemplary widow who leaves a legacy by working for her family.

She is determined not to become a charity case but to build her own future, one day at a time.