Bedrooms turned into boxing rings in Manicaland

A DISTURBING trend of intimate partner violence is emerging across the country, with far-reaching consequences for individuals, families, and communities.

Partners who are supposed to be each other’s keepers and protectors are turning out to be the source of discomfort, physical and emotional abuse, and even death.

Homes, which should be sanctuaries of peace, cohesion, and unity, have become hubs of intolerance, suffering, and abuse, as couples constantly fight, creating disintegrated families in the process.

Bedrooms, which were designed for couples to embrace each other, share love, and create lasting memories, have been turned into dens of violence and brutality. They are being turned into makeshift boxing rings. For many, the bedroom is a place of comfort and security.

However, for those experiencing domestic abuse, it can become a chamber of horrors. The sounds of fists hitting flesh and the sight of bruises and bloodstains are just a few of the haunting reminders of the trauma being endured by those facing intimate partner violence.

Winnet Rafemoyo was allegedly killed by her husband
Winnet Rafemoyo was allegedly killed by her husband

According to experts, domestic violence is often a hidden epidemic, with many cases going unreported. The trauma and shame associated with abuse can make it difficult for victims to seek help, leaving them trapped in a cycle of violence and abuse. Some people are choosing to suffer silently, and those with the capacity to assist them will only come to know of the abuse after something very serious happens, such as injury or death.

Men’s Ego Safe Haven executive director, Ms Berita Saranji said no gender is safe from gender-based violence, as the emerging trends are showing an increased number of men falling victim. She said the biggest losers in marital violence are turning out to be innocent children who are witnessing their parents brutalising each other.

“Intimate partner violence is not only experienced by females. There are a lot of men suffering from domestic violence and, due to societal norms, they choose to keep quiet. We only come to know that a man was being abused after he had committed a crime against his partner.

“A partner suffering abuse must come out early, open up and get advice. A problem shared is half solved.

“The impact on children who witness or experience domestic violence can be devastating. Children who grow up in abusive households are more likely to develop anxiety, depression, and behavioural challenges. They may also be more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviours or become involved in abusive relationships themselves.

“Breaking the cycle of abuse requires support, resources, and, most importantly, a willingness to seek help early. No one should suffer in silence. Sometimes it is better to walk away from violent and abusive partnerships and relatives. It is not helpful to hold on to something that will cause you some permanent injuries or lead to grave or jail.

“We encourage married people to exercise extreme restraint when differences arise. Couples must learn to embrace one another and always forgive when one makes a mistake,” said Ms Saranji.

Acting Manicaland provincial police spokesperson, Assistant Inspector Wiseman Chinyoka, said police advise warring couples to always prioritise peaceful means in resolving marital disputes as opposed to the use of violence.

Brian Mudzimwa allegedly murdered his wife Winnet Rafemoyo
Brian Mudzimwa allegedly murdered his wife Winnet Rafemoyo
“Issues of domestic disputes are a concern to the police because some of them end up degenerating into violence. We encourage couples to utilise the family structure to have their problems solved. They should consult close relatives such as family elders, aunts, uncles, or parents for solutions to their challenges.

“There are also independent and respected people who can be trusted in sharing problems being faced in marriages, such as traditional leaders, church leaders, or professional counsellors. All police stations have public relations sections where counselling is offered to people. People are also encouraged to separate so that tempers cool down and reunite after counselling.

“We also encourage abused people in relationships and marriages to make formal reports at their nearest police station. Any form of violence must be reported to the police; there is no trivial crime. People must not suffer in silence as they can be seriously injured or even killed by the people they stay with,” said Assistant Inspector Chinyoka.

Marriage counsellor, Reverend Kennedy Makwenda said when a relationship becomes violent, it is recommended for couples to part ways before something horrific happens.

“Divorce should be the last resort, however, I recommend it when the marriage becomes so damaged that it can never be repaired and there is no way the couple can be reconciled.

“When marriage is posing danger to one of the spouses or to both, to the extent that one or both could be badly injured or die, it is recommended that people can also divorce. If the relationship is violent, there is no need for any partner to stay in that marriage and say ‘ndogarira vana vangu’ when life is in danger,” he said.