Woman’s 11-year sex drought

_The woman claims her husband was last intimate with her 11 years ago_

A HONDE Valley woman has accused her polygamous husband of abandoning her emotionally and physically, claiming he was last intimate with her 11 years ago, while allegedly devoting all his attention to his second wife.

The complaint was heard at Chief Mutasa’s community court last Saturday, where Febby Chikomba sought redress after being chased from her matrimonial home by her estranged husband, Winston Chimbunde.

The couple are of advanced age.

“We were last intimate in 2014. For all these years, he has not been romantic to me. It is like I do not exist,” Chikomba told the court.

She said she married Chimbunde in 1994, but their relationship began to deteriorate in 2003 when he married a second wife.

“After he married another woman, he started abusing me,” she said, adding that the marriage gradually strained as her husband allegedly shifted his attention to the new wife.

By 2014, she said, the couple had stopped sleeping together altogether.

“Since then, he has concentrated on his new wife,” Chikomba testified.
The emotional distance eventually led to her being forced out of the matrimonial home.

“He has since chased me away and moved into my home with his new flame. I am homeless as we speak,” she said.

Chikomba further told the court that she had worked hard for years growing bananas, using the proceeds to purchase several residential stands.
However, she alleged that her husband sold some of the properties without her knowledge or consent.

“I would grow my bananas, and they would spend the money together with the new woman,” she said.

Chikomba told the court that tensions in her marriage escalated to the point where her husband refused to eat food she prepared and eventually removed all his belongings from her house.

“My mother died, but Chimbunde did not attend her funeral. He would not eat the food I cooked, and he took all his clothes from my house,” she said.

Chikomba added that her father and brothers later confronted Chimbunde to understand why he was no longer behaving like a son-in-law.

Instead, she said, he handed them a single United States dollar, which she interpreted as a divorce token.

“He gave them a dollar as my divorce token,” she told the court.

Despite the breakdown of their marriage, Chikomba insisted she still had feelings for her husband.

“I love him, but I do not think he still loves me. If he loved me, he would not have given me the divorce token,” she said.

She explained that she later approached the magistrates’ court seeking assistance with the division of property accumulated during their marriage, but the matter dragged on without resolution.

“At the magistrates’ court, he told them he still loved me and that there was no need to share property. The matter kept dragging until someone advised me to report it here,” she said.
Chikomba told the court that she and her children are now homeless and pleaded for help in sharing the property.

She also accused her husband of selling 15 000 bricks she had moulded without her consent.

“He sold my bricks without my knowledge,” she said.
In response, Chimbunde denied abandoning his wife and insisted that he still loved her.

“I still love my wife,” he said.
He argued that the marital conflict intensified after Chikomba experienced mental health challenges several years ago.

“When she once got mentally challenged, I took her back to her father’s home. He asked me if I had come to leave her, but I told them I wanted her to be healed first,” explained Chimbunde.

Chimbunde said this happened in 2019, and claimed the family attempted to seek help through traditional healing methods.

“We started consulting healers, but she never got any help,” he said.
He also rejected allegations that he had seized his wife’s property.

“I am still with her. All of her property and furniture is still at home,” he said.

However, he admitted that he sold the bricks, but argued that both his wives had participated in making them.

“Yes, I sold the bricks because both my wives contributed moulding them. I sold them because I knew that I would make more bricks for them whenever they wanted them,” he said.

Their daughter, Joyleen Chimbunde, also addressed the court, and accused her father of mistreating her mother.

She alleged that he often abused her and refused to give her money from the farming activities she had worked hard to establish.
Chief Mutasa urged the couple to find a peaceful way forward and reminded the husband of his obligations.

“How would you feel if your sister or daughter came to you with complaints that they are being treated the same way you are treating this woman?

“Do unto others as you want them to do unto you,” said Chief Mutasa.

He emphasised that his court was meant to strengthen families rather than destroy them.

“We are not here to break marriages, but to build them. You two have children and whatever you do to this woman is the same as you doing it to your children,” he said.

Chief Mutasa also warned Chimbunde against favouring one wife over another in a polygamous marriage.

“If you are polygamous, treat all your wives equally. You cannot be staying in her matrimonial house with your second wife while you have chased this woman away,” he said.

He instructed Chikomba to return to her matrimonial home.

“She should go back to her home, and if it means that you will pitch a tent for your second wife, do that, but this first wife should be at peace at her own home,” he said.

Chief Mutasa also directed Chimbunde to return the money obtained from selling the bricks.

“He will give you back the money from the proceed of the bricks,” he said.

He concluded by urging the couple to live peacefully and resolve their differences for the sake of their family, while advising Chimbunde to perform his matrimonial duties.

“He still loves you. Even if he does not love you anymore, property will be shared through the proper channels,” he said. _*ManicaPost*_