PASTORS WARN AGAINST MARRIAGE PRESSURE – Forced unions leave lasting scars

Church leaders are urging families and society to stop pressuring young people into marriage, warning that rushed or forced unions are fuelling a rise in short‑lived and emotionally damaging relationships.

Their call comes as several men and women—particularly those aged 30 and above—say they continue to face relentless pressure from relatives, church elders and community members to “settle down,” often before they feel ready.

At the weekend, Lorraine Guyo received overwhelming support from the Facebook crowd after she was dragged by a fellow “socialite”, Shugetta following Yahya Goodvibes’ wedding.

Lorraine was named among the women Shuggeta, in his controversial post, felt should have been married by now.

“Allow me to address what has been happening on social media lately.

“First, I want to address Shugeta regarding the post he made this morning. I was on my way to school for my Accounts in-class test when I came across the post through the tags. Shugeta, you managed to convince people to mock me for not being married. As you quoted, “Yayah aroorwa asi kuti Lorraine and Annah extra.”

“To be honest, this did not sit well with me. You honestly spoiled my day. I spent the whole day “trending,” and you triggered people to comment on my marital status.

“Yes, I am not yet married. At 26, many people expect one to be planning to settle down, but my path hasn’t been as easy as you might think. I have set a standard for myself. As a girl child raised by a single mother, I told myself I want to get married only when I have fully established myself. That is not an excuse; dating life hasn’t been kind to me lately, and my dating life has been a challenge.

“However, I have made a decision: I will not settle for less, nor will I settle just because people label me “mvana” .I am praying for a marriage that brings me peace and joy, not one that looks good for other people’s validation.

“I see your posts, the “mvana” narrative, and everything else. I am watching it all.To my fellow ladies who find themselves in the same situation, my reminder to you is this: The God who remembered Esther will remember you. The God who remembered Ruth will do the same for you. In the fullness of time, it shall come to pass,” she said.

The post generated a lot of debate on the platform and beyond.

“Some marriages collapse before they even begin”

Apostle Stephen Mangwanya of the New United Apostolic Church said many marriages are failing because they were never built on genuine choice or emotional readiness.

“It is one of our prayers that people, including church elders, avoid giving pressure to young and old boys and girls into marriages,” he said.

“Some marriages are breaking down due to the way they started.”

He explained that when partners are pushed into unions they did not choose, the unresolved differences eventually surface—sometimes within weeks.Counselling rooms filling with couples who never wanted each other

Another church leader, identified as Kusinira, said they are increasingly counselling couples whose marriages crumble almost immediately.

“We are counselling marriages that do not last even a month,” he said. “A major reason for this short‑life marriage is that partners were pressured to get married.”He stressed that pressure is harmful regardless of age.“This is not only for partners at so‑called advanced age. Even the young must not be forced into marriages, and no one should choose partners for them.”

Mangwanya added that rushed marriages often lead to rushed separations.

“Some are quick to get married and faster to move out of it. God’s timing is important.”Elderly women still living with the wounds of forced unions

Evangelist Nelly Gwatidzo said the consequences of “forced” marriages are visible even among older couples who have spent decades together but remain emotionally estranged.

“Today we have some elderly women who have separated with their spouses, although they are still living in one room,” she said.

She noted that many endured abusive or loveless marriages simply to protect the image of a “successful” union.

“Some were forced into marriage and forced to endure even abusive relationships for the sake of protecting their marriages.”

Gwatidzo said such unions often breed infidelity and emotional detachment.“Extra‑marital affairs are often a result of unhealthy marriages entered by certain circumstances,” she said. “God respects marriage and does not want it defiled.”

She urged communities to pray for couples rather than push them into commitments they are not ready for.

Apostle Benjamin Joseph Murata of New Life Pentecostal Church said marriage should never be treated as an obligation imposed by society.

“Marriage is not a must for people to get into it through pressure,” he said. “Let one get married at the right time, and it can be felt and understood by the one to be married.”

Murata said some people remain single because they are pursuing education, dealing with personal responsibilities, or waiting for a partner who aligns with their values.

He added that others may delay marriage for spiritual reasons, and pressure can disrupt their lives.

“If you give such partners pressure, you will be affecting their lifestyle, their present and future,” he warned.

He referenced biblical examples—Sarah conceiving in old age, Apostle Paul remaining single, and Jesus Christ never marrying—to illustrate that marriage is not a universal requirement.

“Some will blame you for forcing their marriages when they face marital challenges,” he said.

“Anofa achichema nemi nekuti mamumanikidza kuroorwa kana kuroora.” – _*HMetro*_